Happy Wives Allow Husbands To Cheat
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The Punchline
Happy wives are those who are Cherished, Loved unconditionally, Provided for and Have lots of meaningful sex.
How does the average wife attain all of this?
Allow your husband the freedom to cheat and he will MOST LIKELY decide NOT to hook up with that hottie from the bar, will be driven to take that promotion and spoil you with his last pennies.
Here's why:
For the same reason DOGS are "Man's Best Friend"
Men are trustworthy creatures who will stick by the most loyal people in his life. If you show your husband loyalty and trust he will not cheat on you and you will get everything you want in your perfect husband.
How to give your husband the "Freedom to Cheat"
Let HIM call you from the office. Do not call him with anything other than an emergency before he arrives home. This includes blowing up his phone when he's out after work for drinks or out with friends....DON'T EVER DO IT! The same goes for texting.
If you want something picked up from the store, do it sparingly and only in emergencies. Your hubby wants to come home after work just as badly as you do and is NOT your slave. The terms I hear often of marriages are "Team" and "Partnership". Teamwork and partnerships do not involved telling others what to do or even asking for it.... In a team (think at work) people OFFER to take portions of the project, no one is told except by the CEO. There is no CEO in marriage, right? It's a TEAM.
Let him stay at family and friend's houses without you. Give him the freedom to do what he wants. If your man is constantly out with friends and family INSTEAD of with you... rethink how you are treating your husband, it could be your fault he doesn't want to spend time with you.
Let him have girlfriends but keep your eye on how much he talks about his new "girl--friend". If they are friends from high school, let it be. If it's a NEW friend who-happens-to-be-a-girl and they spend a great deal alone time together, they are probably sleeping together. In this case, do the counseling thing, or bail.
Keep Yourself Up
Wives need to act like girlfriends.
Be dressed when he comes home, nice hair, make-up and preferably have dinner plans whether it be homemade or reservations to go out. (He REALLY appreciates this)
Keep your mood up. Mrs. Negativity gets the cold shoulder. Be happy to see your husband and when he asks you "How was your day?", find a positive response, even if your day was terrible, and save the details for dinner.
Keep a candle lit in the restroom during the first couple hours your hubby is home each night. The homey smell of vanilla or cinnamon makes your husband feel right at home and happy where he is.
Your cleaning schedule should be every day but Sunday. Do certain tasks each day of the week. Clean up the kids' toys before your husband comes home.
Which Men Are/ Will Be Cheaters?
Men who cheat will have one or both of the following issues:
1) An unappreciative and/or unloving wife.
2) Hatred for himself or has his own devastating insecurities.
Some men have a history of emotional problems which will drive him to cheat which rears it's head from the sole source of:
A personal ---which means you cannot change this--- problem with commitment. (Seek professional help to find out what the root of the commitment issue is and then DUMP HIM! if he does not improve with therapy/refuses to go.)
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Brilliantly conceived ideas eloquesntly expressed. Congratulations! This is a fantastic Hub!
You're clever Christa and so is your hubby. It stands to reason that a few of the Super Smart Husbands will see right through the "Get Out of Jail Free" card. Thanks for your comment.
Mr. Watkins, Thanks for your support and compliments!
Hmmm, props because it most likely is true for men but I have to disagree with the "get out of jail free" card. No matter why he chooses to use it or how he chooses to the fact is if he does use it you'll always have to think about the night he "cheated" and not be able to say a word because you gave him the permission to do it. I'm sure most women will say bail then, since he can't be too good if he actually takes advantage of the offer, but I mean, c'mon now... Men are men. Temptation is one thing to walk away from but when your wife basically tells you to go out there and have at it chances are they are going to jump on the oppurtunity.I think I like the other advice, just a little beef with that part.Otherwise great Hub! :-)
A bypassed this hub for a few days, thinking, "What? What kind of insane person calls a hub that...and it's not true, either." Obviously I missed the slant.
After reading this, I only have one thought:
My husband would make a show of trashing a "Get Out of Jail Free" card...then we'd act like newly married people.
You're right - this attitude works.
Good job.
Oh my gosh, I was laughing about the "having dinner ready" part, but when it got to "your cleaning schedule should be..." I was floored.
What is this, the 1950's? What about HIS cleaning schedule? I'm a (female) doctor, and my husband is a stay at home mechanic, and I should be the one cleaning? I work 24 hour shifts! I'm supposed to stop saving lives and come home every day to clean? And have dinner ready? While he does nothing?
Get with the times already!
And no, I won't be checking back for troll like comments that disagree.
A simple and a very nice hub, fantastic
so sexy couple
Some commenters make me laugh in disgust but I rarely ever return a comment. In the great world of the internet you can make claims of having a great profession, excellent education or be a self-proclaimed expert on a subject one only pondered a few hours ago and "googled" to satisfy a goolge trend. My one point of advice to those few nay-sayers-- If your speech does not show at least an 8th grade education, you should not expect others to believe you've received a Masters or Doctorate degree. Additionally, if your "expertise" only rounds a rudimentary speck of a topic, you should be wary of calling yourself an expert.
I would like to explain that I am a 27 year old female who's been married for 4 years and lives in Chicago. This may dispel any thoughts that this article is an old-fashioned method of keeping a marriage happy. In my opinion, the divorce rate in the US has gone to insane proportions. Marriages do not work only on the "I Do" and "because we are married" anymore... they used to because it was shameful to divorce. Now, folks are getting married up to 4 times in their adult life...that's ridiculous! The excuse "I made a mistake by marrying this person" is never valid. Do you make very many important promises that you go back on and say "I must have made a mistake?" I hope this article will put marriage into perspective for modern wives and overtake the "We're married so I don't need to try as hard to keep my husband happy" thinking. Have a great day and a wonderful marriage!
I disagree.. give them a reason to NOT cheat. Don't nag, don't be up their butts, don't always care where they are or what they are doing. It's not about giving them the freedom to cheat it's about giving them freedom period. Let them be their own person and you be your own. Have open communication and respect each other. It's very simple people. Don't play games and don't have expectations. Relationships and maintaining them aren't as hard as people make it out to be and if it is hard to maintain it then maybe you are with the wrong mate.
WooHoo!! GO MODEL MOM!!
I love it, this is great! Of course some of the happiest married people I know actually have an open relationship - cheating is only cheating if you lie about it. If you need to lie to your partner about anything, there is already something fundamentally wrong in the relationship.
Ok maybe. The switcheroo logic is a tactic but why not try to make it so you really want to be with each other? Bringing someone else into your relationship is a recipe for disaster. I'm all for fun and friendship in a relationship and absence can create a new desire to be together again. If you're bored do something fun and exciting that you can share.
On the other hand, when you're alone, give her a flurtatious pinch(don't hurt her) and you let him do it with out having to duck. Have some good bad fun!Peace.
That's just CRAZY!!! Cheating isn't called "CHEATING" because it's the right thing to do! Cheating is wrong, right down to the last opinion... Do you cheat, also? So you both cheat on each other...? What a life! Have you ever thought about growing old with the ONE person you love? KNOWING that YOU are the ONLY one? (Obviously not) THAT is what marraige is... THAT is why people GET married! NOT so they can cheat on each other... That's just sick! I would give your "marraige" a TOTAL of five years the way it is, and you will find out what "MARRAIGE" is all about... If that's how you two live, all the power to ya, but I wouldn't want a thing to do with it... But that's me. I AM FAITHFUL. Do you know what that means?
Dear MD, You're so right I bow to your greatness! Thats just giving marriage a bad name and when people cite the problems with straight marriages this is exactly what their talking about. I just hope theres no children involved. Peace.
My point being...:Why do people get married? (So they can cheat on each other???) I doubt it...
Mama and Sneak. Buy adding details of your own perfect relationships would make a great addition to this article. ** To All Commenters: PLEASE read the article entirely, not just the headline, before "yelling" or getting "snippy" with your comments. I am a great believer in allowing everyone's voices to be heard but to be fair to the contents of this article AND my reputation as a writer, please do not only read the headline, a couple comments and THINK that you have read the article. This article is NOT about cheating on your spouse it is the quite the opposite, actually. Read it again.
Too many STD also, now who will want to contract that,the wives,
Great article, my wife thinks like you and I love her more because of it.
Andromeda10, Great article; I fear you provided too much of a liberal analogy for your women cohorts... They missed the without trust you don't have a good relationship widget... The women dominance in conjunction with the fatale syndrome have overpowered your strategy...
Andromeda10, Great article; I fear you provided too much of a liberal analogy for your women cohorts... They missed the without trust you don't have a good relationship widget... The women dominance in conjunction with the fatale syndrome have overpowered your strategy...
loua. You said it! Thank you!
huh? Is this true??? I doubt.
The decision to be in a comitted relationship is reached by 2 mature adults, each with their own lives and schedules, deciding on joining together to build one common life. I find people forget, or expect a change with marriage that the lives they lead before must end and only ONE life should exist afterwards. This is wrong. This article provides tips, blunt perhaps, but good. What we should all take away from this is how living separate lives is just as important to nurture as the combined life you have with your partner. Being life-magnets will eventually make one turn against the other and we all know the effects of that.
This is refreshing! It's nice to see things from the other perspective! I am smiling here. Just not married. But still smiling! : )
Temperance said " cheating is only cheating if you lie about it. If you need to lie to your partner about anything, there is already something fundamentally wrong in the relationship."
I totally agree. As for this hub....I wouldn't even know where to Start! :}
Melanie
Although I wish it was true that giving men freedom would result in their loyalty I have to say I disagree. We had our first child the final year of my university education and I mistakenly let my fiance do whatever he wanted. Needles to say, he remained living in his hometown and continued frequenting the bar the majortiy of the week. It was so bad that the day we were to be discharged from the hospital and I asked if he had bought a car seat, he said he admitted that he had blown all his money despite the fact that he had ABSOLUTELY nothing to pay for (lived with his Dad and did not own a vehicle.) So for those 9 months I let him do what he wanted while I sat at home saving my negligible student loans to buy little extra's. To make matters worse, I was naive enough to let his freedom continue for another year after the baby where I did everything while he got drunk with family and friends (I was back to school in less then a week from my childs birth and got my sister to alter her work schedule so she could watch our child). After a year I said thats enough, you play by my rules now or your out. So I guess I am strict to my husband but I think the disrespect and disregard he showed me for those 2 years is worth it. To you ladies out there, don't ever accept anything less than you expect of your husband. In this age where both couples work full time jobs either can do the housecleaning and prepare supper. If the wife has to do this to keep her husband happy, then obviously he doesn't love her that much
My husband would want to take advantage of the card and come home to give me a hug.. I have been married for 10 years.. He has straight up told me he just wants to be free to do what he wants and wants me to be there for him still.. and we have two kids.. yay me..
I allowed my husband to have a three some with me and my best friend and since then he has been given my premission to sleep with her due to me being sick and unable to make love to him. I love my husband and i don't think it is fair to him to be made to go without sex,so iam sure people will judge me but i will not stand by and watch the man i love go without then one thing a man needs, and i much rather know who he is sleeping with and where he is at and he is safe because i know she is safe.
To me this is a weird article. It's making A LOT of assumptions, like : husbands won't cheat if the wife is doing everything right, or they won't cheat if you don't pressure or hassle them about anything, or being ok with your husband cheating will lead to him being home more, being more honest and cheating less. What planet are you people on?
This is the biggest load of crap I've read in a long time. Cheaters will cheat and that's the way it is...permission or not. Character is the missing link, not a green light to do whatever while you act like it doesn't hurt.
What bothers me about this article is the “Keep yourself Up” portion which is unrealistic and setting women up for serious hatred of their men and men in general.
Does this article apply to women who work? Does this article imply that child rearing; working full time and all domestic duties are exclusively woman’s work? THIS is what drives women to hate their husbands, kids, and lives. So let me get this straight, you must greet him at the door in full Vogue fashion, lead him to a dressed table, quietly and gently ask him how his day was, excuse yourself put on your rubber gloves and scrub the crappy toilet, usher the kiddies around and keep them out of dads way and send him off to his mistress with a loving kiss and hug. WOW.
Ever wonder why more and more women are opting for other women?
I Like the hub, i think in some situations this could work, but what about the women out there that have already done all the thing's you say not to do!! Like, leave him alone at work,meaning..not call his phone, or bother him. Let him have his space, then be there for him all ready to serve him dinner, while you are all dolled up. What if a woman has already ruined the relationship by not having any trust, Questioning him all the time, believing that he does cheat, when he actually doesn't, WHAT TO DO THEN? Im not sure if we give all the space you say give, and turn around and let him cheat, what if it has already happened? How do we turn things around??
Very wise article...women and men can have somewhat private lives outside of marriages...I just have one stipulation: the wife needs to have her husband sign an alimony and child-support agreement BEFORE he decides to have a girlfriend. The wife must have some security just in case the husband bails...its only fair. Otherwise, very good advice..
my friend spouse got so mad on the first day of her home coming all of a sudden just because she was imitating his girlfriend on the line.he was ready to dump her for that .my question does he loves that girlfriend on phone more than his wife.what the readers think please comment.i would be grateful for my friend who cant understand english
I did everything in this article, let him travel, not bother him at work, social outings without me, rubbed his feet everyday day, had dinner ready and he still.cheated. I can never have that trust in him again. Im not fat or ugly,.as a matter of fact, I get propositions everyday. Some men are just.selfish
Good luck to all of you following this advice.
I would NEVER give a man permission to cheat. But yes, I trusted my husband, and treated him well. I never expected he would cheat, so I never did the crazy things insecure girlfriends and wives to to test their men. But he did cheat on me, and then admitted it. He is in therapy for sexual addiction now, by his own doing. But I am having trouble trusting him completely again. I just can't help but think I should have talked to him more directly about this stuff, maybe we could have avoided him having cheated on me in the first place... now we have to live with what he did and it's hard.
Really? A cleaning schedule that doesn't involve my husband?? I am a full time medical student, and my husband is a mechanic. You really think that I should come home from school, be on fire/EMS call, make dinner BY THE TIME HE GETS HOME, oh and clean while I have spare time so he doesn't have to do anything? I think not!!!
This sounds like the uneducated/I'm with the wrong person type of marriage. We're best friends and split everything.
This really gave me a laugh. Thanks! Now back to studying while I wait for my husband to bring home things from the store that I asked him to pick up: He replied :"of course hun, I know how busy you are". OOPS! Looks like were headed for divorce!
Christa Dovel 2 years ago
Great article. I like everything but the 'get out of jail free' card, but only because I know my husband would not appreciate it. He would take it as a sign that I don't trust him.
As to those cheaters -- most I've met have/had wives that were unresponsive. They didn't want to make love to their man, and where unconcerned about the children. Men want a responsible, responsive woman.